that linger on
Go ahead, figure out just what it was that ruined it. You had it all but wanted more and pitched a fit and destiny would play along. The caveat: you get just what you want until you haven't got a single thing you need. And it's simple enough the feast has passed and now you hunger on.
And no, you can't go back and do it all again.
Mull it over, wake to sleep and sleep to wake Relive it again and again for pity's sake til you're screaming out your heartache song after song. You think, "you get it off your chest" until you see you've burned it in. Sealed for all the rest of your days within the riches past and scars that linger on.
And no, you can't go back and do it all again.
The old college roommates got together the weekend of Hurricane Joaquin. We celebrated John's "Bachelor Party" in our true nerd fashion! Ate delicious food, drank fine beverages, and played great video games. Really, being together just to have fun was the main event (not including the wedding). The weekend drew to a close and I found myself with Zak's ukulele in my hand, plucking out little ostinatos, as I processed the feelings spending rich time with old friends provides. As I looked back, years into the past, I ran the "what-if" gauntlet...and fell. I began to identify ways my introspection and projects had carried me forward while simultaneously binding me to a perception of myself and my experiences.
We return again to our Enslavement-Freedom continuum. In Each and Every Time our release, our letting go, grants us freedom. In that linger on, we are captured by the "what-ifs" that keep us from WHAT IS. Why do we struggle so wholeheartedly with a life that simply doesn't exist? Where is the line between processing our emotional struggles and allowing our hurt, loss, and/or regret to indwell our identities? How can we mediate our thoughts and feelings to heal that which needs healing, and dismiss that which needs dismissing? What moments linger on?
Special thanks to Zak, for letting me borrow his beautiful ukulele, pictured below, for this project.
